Monday, March 1, 2010

chicken report {no. 6}

I’ve been attacked two times now by our rooster. The first time it happened, I could tell that he was acting strange and aggressive, but I went about my business of collecting the eggs. When I came out of the coop, he dodged me with his wings spread. I was startled, but I still felt like I was the tougher one, so I shouted at him. This only made him more aggressive and he pounced on me, digging through my pants with his claws. I don’t even know how I made it out alive. Of course, my husband laughed and said it must somehow be my fault. The rooster must smell my fear or some malarkey like that. I wasn’t buying it. Determined not to let that big bird intimidate me, I went back out a few days later. I had a bowl heaping with delicious veggie scraps. Surely, I would win him over with these treats. Not so much. I barely got the scraps on the ground and he was after me. In my girlie-girlie way, I panicked. The bowl went flying up in the air and came crashing down, as if in slow motion. My favorite Williams-Sonoma bowl was destroyed. (Don’t ask me why I used the bowl for them in the first place.) I went clamoring back to the house, expletives spewing from my mouth. Now I had to get back in there and clean the broken glass. I dressed for war. I darned my ski pants and gloves, put on the thickest coat and found a tennis racket. He knew I was ready for battle, because as I neared the coop, expletives still spewing, he quickly gathered all his girls and ran inside. Chicken! I shut the coop door and cleaned up the glass. Again, my husband said I need to be more assertive, show the rooster that I’m the boss. And here is the best part of the story: a few days had passed and my husband was off to do the chicken chores, when suddenly I hear him screaming, expletives spewing from his mouth. He comes clamoring into the house, saying he was going to kill the bloody rooster and proceeded to show me the scratch on his leg. I calmly said, “He must have smelled your fear.” Mr. Rooster is still alive. I haven’t been back in the coop, and my husband did some little crazy man dance to show the rooster he’s…well, crazier. So far it seems to be working.

16 comments:

Carey said...

Oh, I've been waiting patiently for a post like this from you! I spent a good chunk of my childhood being chased by my pet male duck, George, and received many painful duck beak pinches.

geschichtenvonkat said...

holy moly! i can sympathize though...it was my job to collect the eggs when i was younger and we had a barred rock rooster who came at me like that. i took to going in there armed with a big broom after he bit me right between the fingers!

Kelly Ballard said...

I think that rooster would make a delicious fried chicken dinner!

Kelly
Second Hand Chicks

Amy @ Homestead Revival said...

I agree with Kelly! Unless you plan to do battle for a long time!

NoviceLife said...

Oh my gosh - LOLOLOL - And this is why I am afraid of chickens and am trying to refuse my husband to have them :) LOL I would die if that happened to me! Sounds like you handled it well ;)

Carey said...

May he live long and prosper! He's just doin' his job, protecting his ladies and his interests. What's his name?

Low Tide High Style said...

Our neighbors used to have chickens and so did my grandparents and roosters still scare me to this day! Glad you weren't hurt and that rooster is lucky he's not on the menu at your house!

Kat :)

Bevy said...

I'm sorry, but that is too funny...

You're brave to be back in there time and time again.

mary beth said...

I don't know a thing about roosters, but what if you squirted water at him like they do cats who get into mischief? maybe even hot water....dont report me to PITA, please! I had a good laugh when I read this story, and I am so glad your hubby experienced it firsthand.

Renae said...

LOL....LOVE the story. MEN, they always think they know things!

cupcake studio said...

Crazy rooster! What a funny post...may the chicken-good-karma be with you!

Carrie said...

hahaha! Our Demon will be leaving soon. I've decided to part with him. He and I have had several "come to Jesus" meetings about not attacking the hand that feeds him. I like to think I've proven my point. I use a nice sized stainless steel bowl which apparently whigs him out but a couple of tosses of that at him in attach mode and he's settled.

But...he's eating my feed and gives me nurfin. So, he's going. Hunter has said he can swap him for a load of firewood...what a deal! I could get maybe $10 on Craigslist for him. A load of firewood is $70+! HECK YEAH.

If not, my aunt wants him...

Farmgirl Paints said...

Roosters are sassy like that. I grew up with Tom...the meanest rooster ever. We couldn't go outside without a broom. Finally someone ran over him in the driveway. It's scary, they have those sharp talons!

melanie lace said...

My girlfriend also has chickens and a rooster in her yard. She always has an issue with that rooster though!

cristinella said...

I'm sorry, but I actually laughed out loud reading this post. I wish I could have seen Tom try to "Out-Crazy" the rooster with his wacky dance! Good luck guys...You'll need it!

"m" said...

I had a rooster like that once....
He was delicious!